


Five Times Jack Wished Daniel Were a (Heterosexual) Girl

by Paian



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: 100-1000 Words, 5 Things, 500-999 words, Bodyswap, Community: sg1_five_things, Episode Related, Episode: s01e14 Hathor, Episode: s02e18 Holiday, Episode: s07e10 Birthright, Gen, Gender Issues, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-25
Updated: 2006-09-25
Packaged: 2017-10-03 21:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paian/pseuds/Paian





	Five Times Jack Wished Daniel Were a (Heterosexual) Girl

5\. Hak'tyl, because maybe these Jaffa care as much about warrior chops as genitalia and Carter carries herself more like a warrior than Daniel ever will even though the only difference left between them is that Carter did Basic eighteen years ago, but right now it's his cultural specialist and experienced negotiator he wants in that powwow.

 

4\. When they swapped bodies through Ma'chello's machine. It didn't occur to him to wish it about Teal'c, because the whole body-swapping thing was pretty freaky to begin with, and he had his hands full dealing with being a lot heavier, a lot taller, hung a hell of a lot better, and bald. But by the time they were swapping again, and he saw that the next musical chair was gonna be Daniel and not Carter, he wished it _so hard_. To know how it felt to pee, to have sex, to have an orgasm ... to see whether military men treated him differently if he came in a different package ... firsthand understanding of how distribution of body mass affected movement, whether fine motor skills felt any different ... at least a month to find out whether or not the whole hormone thing was a crock. There were so many things he wanted to know, in that one what-a-freaking-cool-opportunity moment, that he didn't even get around to thinking how nice it would be to have his own pair of breasts to play with, but it all turned out to be moot anyway; by the time he got past the weirdness of the too-long hair after the no-hair and peering over the glasses to see how bad his vision really was and made it to _holy shit that's a foreskin_ \-- he was back in his own creaky-kneed, spiky-haired, circumcised, flat-chested body, and what he was wishing was that he'd thought to call for a bathroom break.

 

3\. The first time he got a good look into Daniel's eyes after the thing with Hathor and saw what the offhand, self-effacing, joke-it-all-off humor was covering up.

 

2\. When Daniel was digging his heels in and Jack just wanted to get off this damn rock and he'd tried negotiation and intimidation and manly arm-around-the-shoulder cajoling and commando manipulation techniques and none of it worked and all he had left in his arsenal besides dragging him bodily through that gate was sexy charm. He hardly ever used it -- in fact, it kind of freaked him out that he had it at all, since "sexy" was not the word that came to mind when he smiled at himself in the mirror -- but when he did it always worked. Charm was charm, right? Worth a shot?

"What's wrong with your face?" Daniel said.

"C'mon, Daniel," Jack persisted, adjusting the head-tilt and the chin-dip, cranking the eye-twinkle, going full-dimple. "For me. Do it for me?"

"No, seriously. What's wrong with your face? Are you having a stroke?"

They ended up doing it Daniel's way, which cost time and aggravation and resources but did preserve the integrity of this pain-in-the-butt culture and also, Jack had to admit, left him with two useful pieces of information: Making Daniel laugh his ass off didn't budge him either; and before Jack had copped to what he was doing and Daniel had started laughing, Daniel had been this close to calling for Jack's emergency medical evac through the gate.

Next time he'd go with the stroke.

 

1\. When he left Daniel to spend the rest of his life on Abydos, because then he could have been sure the guy was staying because he really wanted to and not just for the girl. Jack had done some crazy things when he was in love, but moving to an alien world halfway across the galaxy with nothing more than what he had in his pack, burying the gate, giving up Earth forever, never anyone he could tell about anything he learned here, maybe not so much to learn as he thought there was -- that was a big one, and Jack had a feeling he was gonna be wondering, and worrying, for a good long time.


End file.
